Come to me.
Listening to: Rain - The Red Paintings.
Mood: Exhausted.
It's torture wanting what you can't have.
A person, an object, an attribute; I know what they all feel like. And yet...
It keeps happening.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by longing right now. Wishing things were different. But it's not up to me anymore. Not many things are.
I love it here, but at the same time I miss everyone and everything back home.
Except for my bed. I hate my bed. I really need a new mattress. So badly. My current one has broken springs that cut me while I sleep. My feet and legs and back and ass are currently covered in scratches. Not fun.
I wish someone would hold me until I fell asleep. I miss that. A lot.
Gah, I sound like such a sadsack right now. Maybe I just need a hug.
I had a wonderful day today. It made me want to move here right now. But like I said, I miss home...
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm doing with myself anymore.
As soon as I get home I have to clean my room out, learn three songs on ukulele, change my doona cover, make birthday presents, dye my hair, and read two books.
Or I could just sleep.
Sleep sounds good.
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6 comments:
"It's torture wanting what you can't have.
A person, an object, an attribute; I know what they all feel like. And yet...
It keeps happening.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by longing right now. Wishing things were different. But it's not up to me anymore. Not many things are."
Ahhhhh Ree, you've summed up my life right now.
I love you.
I'd say I love you too, but I'm not sure who you are. All I can say is I'm sorry you're going through it too.
Shit, life is a load of bollocks, hey?
Sometimes it's just far easier to pretend you don't care than admit you do; it makes you feel more in control and has the added bonus of putting everyone else at ease too.
Win fucking win.
I don't know if I could do that though.
Yeah...
it was nice in principle but didn't work out so well in practice.
You know, like communism.
Well, that I can totally understand.
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