Tuesday, May 18, 2010

May 18th.

You're standing on my neck.

Listening to: 1901 - Phoenix.
Mood: Pretty good, regardless.

Right now I'm looking for jobs, and it's not as easy as some people (ie My parents) seem to think. I'm inexperienced at...well, everything. But how I get the experience in the ifrst place if they won't take on people who haven't had experience? It's confusing.
(/click. Okay, just applied to answer phones in an optometrist. I could do that, right?)

I hate that sometimes I slip and measure my self-worth by how many people want to sleep with me. No one should do that, and I'm a hypocrite for doing it.
The way I've been acting lately has been scaring people off, apparently. But I'm trying to be better! I am getting better! Maybe I'm not the problem here, maybe people are just too judgemental of me...

I had a dream on my last night in Queensland.
You were wearing a leather jacket and for some reason you had a tail.
It was long and kind of reptilian and I think I was the only person that could see it. We were sitting across from each other in a cafe and you were stroking my inner thighs quite intimately, but the whole time maintaining eye contact. You were saying things like "You are a piece of meat. Anything we do tonight will mean nothing to me." and all I could do was sit there and nod like I was in a trance.
Then he came in and took me by the hand and led me away from you, to his house. He tucked me into the spare bed and said "She's away for the weekend, shall I stay with you?".
I fell asleep in his arms.
And then I woke up.

They're getting vivd again, my dreams. Which I enjoy sometimes, but sometimes it kills me.

Anyone know any jobs that are going?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nobody wants to hire an Asian high school student, be grateful you are a woman! [and also not ethnic.]