March 20th.

Brilliance.

Listening to: Breathing.
Mood: Tired, but strangely content.

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of sorts.
Partly good, partly bad, I guess.

Some amazing things have happened. Amanda Palmer, for one.
(Everyone is pretty much sick of hearing about how she touched my boobs. She touched my boobs, by the way.)

And some awful things. Well, not anything in particular, but I've had some rather crippling down periods. Hopefully this will be a thing of the past, however.

I've started on antidepressants. Finally. I know that's not something to boast about. Boasting about being mentally ill is not my thing. But it's a good change.

No side effects yet, aside from a bit of appetite loss. And I'm more tired. Eh. I don't mind. Why would I need energy anyway?

People don't realise how hard it is to find a job at my age. Especially sans HSC. Not that I regret leaving school early. I just regret that society seems to worship that stupid piece of paper.

Some people can't deal with school, especially people with depression, I've noticed. I left. Other people do Pathways. Other people do Distance Ed.
Some just crumble under the weight of it all.

I'm not saying education isn't important. It is. It's rewarding, and sometimes interesting. It's just that the system sucks. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to come up with a better one. Any ideas?

At the moment my interest in education is minimal at best. Right now I want to live. And when I'm in school/TAFE/whatever, I feel dead. And no one wants to feel dead.

At least, I should hope not.

I'm trying to be okay, for your sake. But could you at least act like I mean something? Anything.

Am I really such a bad person that I deserve to be treated like this?

I got a good night's sleep last night, surprisingly. I don't know if I was talking or not, though. I'll ask Brendan when he wakes up.

I had a strange dream about a dog having puppies that were a different breed, and then the puppies grew really quickly, and then they changed into humans. It was...well, weird. But in the dream it seemed normal to everyone.

Sometimes my dreams mean things. I think. It's hard to explain.

But that one was just random.

My arms are itchy.